If you think your relationship is moving towards marriage, there’s no time like the present to have the hard talks. Engaging in premarital planning may not sound sexy, but it can mean the difference between a short-lived marriage and one that survives all of the ups and downs that come with life.  Having open and honest discussions about each other’s expectations can help you improve your communication skills not only with each other but also with your extended family. 

 

Some of the topics you may want to consider discussing include whether or not you want children and, if so, how many and at what age you would like to be out of the child-bearing phase of your marriage. Would either of you want to be a stay-at-home parent? Do you plan to go back to school to further your education?  Are you willing to move to another state for your future spouse?  Are there any places that you would not live?  And, while it may seem mundane, discussing topics such as who should be responsible for making sure bills got paid and whether or not you’ll have separate or joint bank accounts can help you to avoid future conflicts. 

 

If you prefer to have your discussions in a professional environment, you can consider seeking in-person, online, religious-based, or workshop-based premarital counseling. You can check out some fascinating statistics on premarital counseling at worldmetrics.org, which may help convince your potential future-spouse to participate in premarital planning or counseling if he’s resistant.