Dear Ida: I’m a happily married man in a good place financially, and I want to do right by my wife this Valentine’s Day. The catch is, my bride absolutely cannot stand what she calls “wasting money” on flowers that die, overpriced dinners, or trendy gifts that end up in a drawer.
I still want her to feel cherished and spoiled, but in a way that matches who she is: practical, no‑nonsense, and careful with our money. We’ve already got what we need, and she’d be upset if I blew a bunch of cash just because it’s February 14.
How can I give her a Valentine’s gift that feels thoughtful and romantic without making her feel like I’ve been irresponsible or wasteful? – Husband Who Wants to Get It Right
Dear Husband Who Wants to Get It Right: Brownie points for you for wanting to romance your wife on Valentine’s Day. Statistics have shown that the longer a couple is married, the least likely they are to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Since Valentine’s Day falls on Saturday this year, you have the entire day to romance the pants off of her (hint hint). Speaking of brownies, if your wife has a sweet tooth, homemade heart-shaped brownies are a great way to start off the day. You can pick up the needed supplies at any grocery store, including heart-shaped cookie cutters or baking pan.
Instead of buying a card this year, write down your favorite memories on slips of paper and hide them around the house for her to find and leave clues for her on where to find them. And instead of buying flowers, buy your wife’s favorite plant which will be a reminder of your love for her year-round.
Plan a day of pampering with your wife. If she enjoys getting her nails done or getting a facial, make it a date and get a couple’s pedicure or couple’s massage. Enjoy lunch at an intimate cafe and then take a class together. You could try pottery-making to make a pot for her plant or a wood-working class to make a box that she can keep her love notes in. If those classes sound too adventurous or intimidating, you can take a glass decorating class and make a jar to use as a time capsule to put your love notes in and bury it together at the end of the night. If none of those classes area available in your area, you could purchase the supplies needed to make candles or bath salts at home, which would be perfect for the candle-lit bubble bath you make for you and your wife to enjoy at the end of the night.
If grand gestures aren’t in your wheelhouse, you can always cook your wife’s favorite meal or order in from her favorite restaurant and watch her favorite movie together. Give her a good foot or back rub and cap the night off watching the stars together under a cozy blanket and a cup of homemade hot cocoa.
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