DEAR IDA: I feel like the country’s political tension has moved right into my living room. My sister and I used to be close, but over the last few years every family gathering turns into a low-grade war over elections, protests, and whatever is trending on social media that week. I’ve already lost a couple of friends over politics, and I’m scared my own family is next, but I also don’t want to sit there in silence while people say things I find hurtful or extreme. How do I protect my peace without blowing up the relationships I have left? – FRAYED BY THE FIGHTING
DEAR FRAYED BY THE FIGHTING: If there is one thing that can test the ties that bind us, it’s politics. Sometimes, it seems like the more you care about a cause, the more determined some people become to get under your skin about it. At other times, it seems like folks are so passionate about a cause without really knowing or caring that their stance is causing discourse among their family and friends. If you are of the minority opinion where politics are concerned, successfully maneuvering social gatherings can feel like walking a tightrope with a pack of hyenas underneath waiting for you to make a mis-step.
In the case where a family member or friend is passionate about a cause, try to get an understanding about why they feel the way they do. Perhaps they have personal experiences that influence the way they feel. Maybe they see a lot of fraud or abuse in their line of work and are therefore against any kind of government assistance program. Rather than debating the issue and trying to convince them that they are wrong, find some common ground on which you can agree. Everyone should be able agree that fraud is a burden on American taxpayers and an affront to the charitable nature of the majority of Americans. Once they understand that you are not rigid in your opinions, share an experience with them of someone who had fallen on hard times, got the help that they needed and was able to successfully build their life back up. More than likely, you have a shared family member or common friend that has benefited from government assistance at some time in their life. Rather than debating whether something is bad, open a discussion on ways that it can be improved.
If you are hosting a party and want to keep political debates to a minimum, try putting out some political games and invite your guests to try one out. The website toppingthetable.com has a list of the 12 Best Political Board Games to Play in 2026 and includes games for 2 to 10 players. You could also come up with your own game like political Jenga or Kerplunk. Pick a particular political topic. Each time someone removes a plank or pick, they have to explain their view on a subject. By turning the discussion into a game, it gives each person an opportunity to talk, provides time for each player to thoughtfully express their opinion and encourages empathy between the players.
Sometimes, it’s best to simply agree to disagree on politics and make the social gathering a politics-free environment. If a conversation turns to a political topic, acknowledge that their opinion matters and gently steer the conversation to a more personal subject matter that allows you to connect with them on a deeper level.
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