DEAR IDA: I am a 34-year-old executive, and I’ve worked hard to cultivate an image of “quiet luxury” and professional competence. Recently, my mother has started tagging me in “Throwback” posts that show me in a very messy light from my college days. When I asked her to stop because my clients follow me, she called me “ashamed of my roots.” Am I wrong to want to curate my past? — POLISHED IN WINN PARISH

DEAR POLISHED: You aren’t erasing your roots; you’re landscaping them, and that is both emotionally healthy and professionally smart in an era when clients routinely look up executives online and draw conclusions from what they see there. Curating your digital footprint is a form of reputation management, not self-betrayal, especially when old images can be taken out of context and quietly erode the air of competence and discretion you work so hard to project.​

Explain to your mother that she’s seeing “my baby all grown up,” but your clients are seeing “the person I might trust with a seven‑figure deal,” and those are radically different audiences with different stakes. Tell her you cherish those throwback memories in the family group text or a private album, yet once they’re public and tagged to your full name, they stop being sentimental and start becoming part of your professional record.​

You are not “ashamed of your roots” for wanting consent and context; you are asserting the same boundary most etiquette and mental‑health professionals now recommend—ask before posting or tagging someone else’s image, particularly when it affects their work life. If she insists on treating your profile like her scrapbook, quietly use your platform’s tools: require approval for tags, limit her visibility to a “Family Only” or restricted list, and untag yourself from anything that clashes with the brand you must maintain to do your job safely and effectively.​